Real Estate Agent's Café

Six Types of Crappy Hugs

The 9 Types of Crappy Handshakes

Murphy's Real Estate Laws

• That sweet little girl with the baby that you rented to, will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell, ... and several of his friends, ... the very next week.
• Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so ... they will just have to pay you later.
• If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet; perhaps all the plumbing in the building.
• Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town, often get kidnapped on the way there... so there was just no way they could call you.
• Tenants only lock themselves out in the middle of the night... or on Christmas.
• When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.
• At least one tenant's check will be "lost in the mail" every month.
• Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.
• The hardware store closes five minutes before you get there.
• A tenant's ability to see dirt and damage is much greater when the move in than when they move out.
• Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.
• Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your own home.
• The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.
• Tenants always swear under oath that the window was broken when they moved in.
• When a tenant calls and says, "Hi, how are you?" something is drastically wrong.
• If it exists, your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet.
• If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.
• If it is pouring rain, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more at your units.
• Proper disposal of chewing gum is in the carpet

From: Murphy's Laws.com

Observations

  

Add your Observations in the Comments section below.

• The ones who feel that they are constantly being screwed are the ones that usually do the screwing.
• The difference between what the buyer will pay and what the seller will accept is the amount of the commission.
• The length of time a deal takes to close is in direct proportion to the amount of times the file can be churned and fees booked.
• For some people, it's easy being sleazy.
• The ones who produce the least cry the most.
• When you think you've reached a fair and equitable negotiated conclusion to a transaction, the "real" negotiations are just getting started.
• For leasing brokers, it's a love/hate relationship. The Landlord's love you when you bring them a tenant and they hate to pay you.
• Business is hard. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. 
• Even a broken clock is right twice a day. (An argument for the walking dead)
• Paranoia increases proportionately with the amount of un-returned messages that you've left.
• The statement "You better hurry because there's a lot of interest" or "Someone's about to make an offer" has been overused to the point of having absolutely no meaning.
• Developers are like sharks. Sharks have to keep swimming or die. Developers have to develop or the same thing happens.
• The one with the least experience always expects compensation that is far more than the value they've added.
• Each and every developer will tell you that his property is the "best".
• Expect to hear when your intentionally shut-out of a transaction by the property owner "What work did you do?" when it comes time to pay your commission.
• There are always two negotiations in a lease transaction. Negotiating the lease and negotiating your commission agreement.
• Somehow the broker is magically transformed into the landlord's partner when the landlord asks what happens if the tenant stops paying the rent, as it relates to paying the broker's commission.
• What's it called when you're negotiating your commission agreement with the landlord's rep., and you're told by the rep that he's done everything he could, but his "Boss" won't let him agree to your terms? "The Oz Defense".
• The Oz Defense is also used when you're negotiating with the landlord's Rep. on behalf of your client. 
• The Oz Defense originated and was mastered by car dealers and is used when you go to buy a car, except the salesperson doesn't go back to see the "man behind the curtain". He goes back and has coffee and a donut.
• The more people on the selling team, the more inequity there is between the team members.
• If something happens completely out of the broker's control, the broker still gets blamed.
• The lawyers who resent brokers engage in highest form of denial as to how they got the work in the first place.