Real Estate Agent's Café

Beware! The Real Estate SalesTick

Here in New Jersey we have the pervasive Deer Tick that spreads the dreaded Lyme Disease. I had a family member contract this debilitating disease after being bitten, and after a long painful illness she finally was able to overcome it. The strange thing is that she isn't the outdoor type. We couldn't figure out how she picked up the tick in the first place.

Me on the other hand, I've spent more times searching the woods for my golf ball than I care to count. I've played entire rounds, using my patented Slice-O-Matic, without having the ball land on the fairway.

I have taken the game to a new level that I've trademarked "Xtreme Golf". And, I'm planning to launch it as a franchise. Hitting the ball from the middle of the fairway is for wimps.

These days, for the sake of my sanity, you can find me hiking down a trail and through the brush to get to a secluded fishing spot. Yet, with all of this, I've never been bit. (knock wood)

But, I'm here to warn you about the Salestick. Some people may refer to it as a leech, but "leech" is not quite accurate. A leech has some medical benefits.

The Salestick is an insidious predatory parasite I've seen lurking in most sales offices that I've worked in. It can manifest itself into many forms. A friend, confidant, mentor, or even as a newcomer or naive trainee. It may be close. Sitting at the desk right next to you. Waiting, watching, listening, probing, smiling.

Perhaps you've encountered the Salestick and brushed it away as it came over to take a taste, then backing away because the stakes weren't high enough or the timing wasn't right. Always looking for an opportunity to bite into your lead, your deal and into the ultimate prize, all or a portion of your commission. Always planning for a portion of its annual income to come out of what it can suck out of its host victims.

And once it has plunged its hypostome into you, no matter how much you struggle to free yourself, it's to no avail. The Salestick then begins spin its lies about how you've stolen its lead. Its deal!

As you try to get your mind around it, you realize that you're having difficulty defending yourself. You're incapable of thinking this way. You don't have the mentality for it. You've crossed over into the Salestick's realm. The realm of Narcissism. The Salestick's argument is so convincing because it believes it to be true.

So you go to your Manager and you find that the Company doesn't want to get in the middle. It's a dispute between two salespeople and no mater what the outcome, the Company will still get its share. You're forced to settle, taking the Salestick as a partner in your deal and giving it a significant portion of your commission.

Now satiated, the Salestick drops off and crawls back to its desk, or it leaves the company to move on to another sensing everyone's defenses are a little too high.

And you? You're not the same. You're damaged on a few levels. Psychologically, you're suspicious of everyone. Your new motto is, "Trust No One". 

As you stare at the plastic sales awards hanging on the the wall above your desk, you feel betrayed. The Company didn't have your back. You come to the, all too real, conclusion that in the Company's eyes you're just a commodity.

Then there's the monetary loss. Perhaps you were planning to use it for a vacation, or to buy clothes for your kids, or to pay the mortgage because your spouse has lost their job.

The Salestick doesn't care. It's driven by narcissistic greed.

You take little solace in the Salestick leaving the company adding credibility to your "version" of the story.

The Salestick settles into its new desk and tells everyone the story about how at the last company it was screwed by you. As it sits;

Waiting, watching, listening, probing, smiling.  

Redrum Realty

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Prime Fear Estate

Real Estate Business In a Nutshell

When I was starting my career in real estate and interviewing around seeking a home, these words were imparted to me by one particularly interesting and colorful individual. As we were chatting during my interview he said to me;

"Kid, let me tell ya the business in a nutshell. All you have to know is if it's a buyer's market or a seller's market. If it's a seller's market you stick it up the buyer's poop. If it's a buyer's market you stick it up the seller's poop. All you have to know is who's poop to stick it up and when!"

He also informed me that the hardest thing that I would have to do in this business would be to "suppress my brains".

I left with quite an impression.

Real Estate Math Lesson

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Always Do a Dry Run!

My First Deal

 

Do you remember your first deal as a real estate agent? I do. Still after all of these years.

I was in the business for about six months. At the company I worked, every Monday night the entire sales force filed into a stadium size conference room, where on the wall, for the world to see, hung an enormous blackboard with everyone's name and production for the week written on it. Each sales person had to stand and verbally give their production report in front of the entire group and be praised or berated accordingly by the company's president. I've also talked about these infamous sales meetings in my Post The Sales Contest.

Of course, with only six months in the biz, my stats looked pretty sad save for one pending lease deal. When it was my turn to speak, I announced my one saving grace and delivered to me from the President with a cold icy stare were the words; "You're due!" Which really translated into; You better have that deal closed by the next Monday's meeting!

All that week with, panicked single-mindedness, I pushed for the lease to be finalized and signed. The training method at this company was basically Baptism by Fire. So as far a the process was concerned, I was clueless. Just like going from one dark room into the next.

Finally, by Friday the lease was signed by the tenant and I arranged to go to their Headquarters in Manhattan that Monday to pick up the lease. (no email in those days) With any luck I thought, I'll be able to announce my first closed deal to the  group at that Monday night's sales meeting.

On Monday I headed into the City and picked up the signed lease. Then headed over to the Landlord's office in New Jersey to get this puppy wrapped up.  I'm sitting nervously in front of the Landlord watching him go through the lease page-by-page when all of a sudden he bursts out with  "I'm not signing this lease!", "They didn't affix their corporate seal!". (What the hell is a corporate seal? I'm thinking.)

In a panic, I call the guys in New York and arrange to go back into the City to get the seal affixed. I managed to get back to the Landlord's office late that afternoon and delivered the lease with the corporate seal properly affixed. He signed the lease and handed me my commission check.

I made it to the Monday night sales meeting, where I proudly announced my first closed deal. I received my applause, and no sooner than I sat down a sinking feeling came over me, and a little voice in my head said "Now what?" My triumph was already ancient history.

A footnote to this story: Yes, it was raining (pouring) that day. There's nothing more miserable than having to travel the NJ Turnpike into Manhattan in a downpour. And the total commission? $1,000.

 

 

 

Funny Real Estate Sign #3

Sign of the times! 

 

The Realities of Real Estate

I Can't Believe They Let This Guy Run A Company!

 

I'm meeting with a client and through the coarse of conversation she mentions to me that they're planning to add three energy efficient units to each of their seven facilities.

I informed her that I knew of a company that manufactures and installs these types of units, and if she was interested, I could have them contact her to submit a bid. "Absolutely", she said.

It just so happened that I had met the President of this particular company about a month before and knew that his product was a natural fit for what my client was looking for. A few days later as I was traveling past his facility, I decided to stop in to see if he had the time to meet with me to learn about this opportunity.

As I walked into the reception area, I noticed that his office was located just off to the side, and there he was, near his office door shooting the breeze with what appeared to be a sales rep. Pretty good luck, I thought. I introduced myself to the receptionists, explaining to her that I would appreciate a few minutesof Mr. So-and-so's time to inform him of a potential new business referral for his company.

She asked me to take a seat, which was in clear line of site to where the President was standing. Finally, he finished his conversation with the sales rep and walked back to his desk facing his computer on his credenza with his back to the door. The receptionist called in and said that I was here and would like a few minutes with you about referring you a new business opportunity.

Without even a hint of interest or curiosity to hear what I had to say, He replies "Tell him to make an appointment"  I couldn't believe it! He couldn't give me a couple of minutes! It's not like I haven't met this guy. I wasn't looking for anything in return. I was just interested in adding some value for my client. If he happened to remember me down the road when he was planning something with his real estate, fine. But that's not why I was there.

It really blew my mind. I was seeing red! As I was leaving, I couldn't help myself, I passed his door and loudly said "I was about to refer you 21 units!"

I wonder if I sent him this story he would recognize himself. Probably not. It's really dark up there.